Our complimentary photograph clearly shows that Moley was pistoled.

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This is the point where we caught Moley flexing his muscles in the mirror. But when he realised the camera was on, he flexed at that instead.

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Way back in October of 2001 JT, Andy, Ali and Mole took a trip to Magalluf. As you'd imagine, four lads taking a budget holiday towards the end of the Balearics season was bound to cause trouble. Sticking us in a 2 star apartment, which didn't even have a kettle, on the 7th floor was, again, asking for trouble. Four blokes sharing a bathroom the size of a beer mat... and two bedrooms that an ant would find cramped was, surprisingly, asking for trouble. But you get what you pay for. And apart from missing our plane to stay an extra day (because we wanted to cause more trouble), overall we were quite well behaved (!)

alex's bar

CRASH COURSE IN SPANISH:

If you're going to Magalluf - or anywhere in Majorca - you're not going to need to have a knowledge of detailed Spanish. But it's always worth picking up a few words, just in case you get stranded in the middle of nowhere, like we did one night. So here's our very brief guide to the Spanish language, with a few words to get you started.

The Spanish alphabet is by no means a difficult one to understand, because most of the letters are pronouned the same in both English and Spanish. (If you want a challenge, try Greek!) However, the vowels might take you a while to get used to because, like us, they use double vowels to make new sounds, or diphthongs. So firstly, here's our guide to pronouncing Spanish letters.

A - A is usually pronounced like the A in Armour. But when it is followed by a consonant in the same syllable, it is pronounced like the short A in Bat. When AI or AY are together it is pronounced like the I in Ride, and when AU are written together, it sounds like OW.

B - B is the same as in English

C - C is usually pronounced as in Cat, except for: CE and CI, when you pronounced it as a harsh TH (as in Thin).

CH - As in English

D - Is pronounced the same as in English if it starts a word, or if written as LD or ND. Any other time it is pronounced as a soft TH (as in There).

E - If it's in the middle of a word (a closed syllable) then it's pronounced as in Pet, otherwise you say it like the E in They. An EI or EY together are spoken as in Grey.

F - The same

G - As in English except if it's written as GE or GI, then it's pronounced like the CH in a Scottish Loch.

H - The easiest one... H is ALWAYS silent.

I - Always spoken like EE as in Been

J - Again, like the CH in Loch

K - The same

L - The same

LL - (This is a seperate letter in Spanish). Spoken as 'li' (as in Million).

M - The same

N - The same

Ñ - Pronounced as 'ni' (like in Onion)

O - In the middle of a word, it's spoken as in Hot. Otherwise it's pronounced as in Daddio. OI or OY are spoken as in Toy.

P - The same

Q - The same as K

R - The same, but stick a thrill in if you can.

S - Normally the same as in English, but if it's written as SB, SD, SG, SL, SM or SN it's spoken like a Z.

T - The same

U - As in Oo. It's usually silent after Q or G.

V - Merge a B and a V together for this one.

X - The same

Y - The same as in Yes

Z - Like the Th in Thin.

So, now we've got you started on a few letters, here's some words to test yourselves:

HelloHola   O-la

Bye  Adíosadd-E-oss

Please     Por Favor         Por Fav-Orr

Thanks    Gracias      Grass-E-ass

Morning  Mañana     Man-E-ana

Evening  Tarde  Tarr-de

Yes Sí C

No   NoNo

Do you speak English? No hablar inglés

What Time Is It?Que hora esK o-Ra eS

One, Two, ThreeUn, Dos, Tres

Four, Five, Six    Cuatro, Cinco, Seis

Seven, Eight, Nine     Siete, Ocho, Neuve

Ten, Hundred, Thousand  Diez, Cien, Mil

How Much?Quando?Kwand-O

And remember, when writing questions, start the sentence with an upside question mark. Use explanation marks in the same way.

THIS PAGE CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE.

Andy thought his chat-up line on

Moley went pretty well.

Three of the four lads

(Well, one of us had to take the picture!)

JT did nothing to help the mystery of his sexuality during the fortnight.

Top: Ali and Andy. Bottom: Moley, Jess, Annabel, Chris (Yes, he really was that colour!)

Ali gives us his pissed-and-passed-out-with-shaving-foam-up-his-arse look.

Andy finds the tips jar.

Proof that Ali and Moley

haven't lost their bottle...

but we know a pub that did!

Ali's showing off his hat for the 2001 season. Why it bought it nobody knows.

One of Moley's many guises:

No 45: The Raver Look

He shoots... but he doesn't score.

We don't have a clue who this is, who took it, and how they got our camera.

Moley and JT. Don't know what they're doing, why they're doing it or where they are...

but neither do they.

When lads go abroad, they always have an urge to watch the footie. A three nil home win here.

Moley joins the rest of the lads as they parade their flag outside the ground of Real Mallorca.

Now, if you want a good night out in Magalluf, try out Pirates... a themed entertainment show.

Andy got dragged up on stage so he could have a go at the Yes/No game... and he done pretty well (!).

He lasted this long:

- What's your name, mate?

- Andy

-Andy?

- Yes

D'oh!

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Ali won the Projectile Vomiting Competition - spewing at 65 feet - keeping some in his mouth for an extreme close-up. Please don't ask why the lens is so blurred... let's just say it was a cheese related incident.

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Jonny proves he's no fool when it comes to making a fool of himself.

Now, not wanting to show any particular bias towards some of the world's leading fast food outlets, we have Andy unwrapping a Burger King, closely followed by a Big Mac, and then Moley... preaching about what can happen if you spend too much time with the Colornel.

Andy suns himself in the shade while Moley takes pictures of random women around the pool who, in his words... "Had their tits out, but I didn't notice at the time."

If it wasn't for Ali, we'd never have got Moley back to the apartment.

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Image courtesy: www.funtime.au

Taken on board the 250 foot tall bungee rocket, this shows the first two seconds of take-off on the Magalluf bungee rocket. JT's facial expression tells it all... unlike Ali's which seems to remain the same throughout.

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Moley, JT and Ali after drowning at Europe's biggest ever foam party, held at BCM's nightclub.

A drunken Moley attempts to make a sandwich, by throwing the loaf away.

One of our very few surviving pics of Lawrence from Preston. Come back Loz, we miss you!

Craig thinks 'Not Another Photo'

JT does no favours for his sexuality.

Neither does Ali.

These were all taken on a major bar crawl! Here's Ali and Craig... just before they disappeared into the toilets together.

JT and his drinking games...

yes, he's drinking through a tampon.

That JT bloke's always getting in hot water... or in this case a gay man's crotch. He was using an escuse that he was taking part in a drinking game, was blindfolded, and didn't know what he was doing. We believe him(!) God knows what Ellie will say when she sees this.

Andy takes up an offer from rep Leanne... even though it was an insult.

Here's a perfect scene, no hold on,

it's just Jonny and Jess.

A night-time view from our seventh storey balcony.

JT falls out of bed while trying to recover from a drunken evening.